{"id":2350,"date":"2011-12-16T11:21:38","date_gmt":"2011-12-16T09:21:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/?p=2350"},"modified":"2011-12-16T02:33:06","modified_gmt":"2011-12-16T00:33:06","slug":"intelegerea-responsabilitatii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/2011\/12\/intelegerea-responsabilitatii\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00cen\u0163elegerea responsabilit\u0103\u0163ii"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"entry\">\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Eu unul sunt un mare admirator al lui Eric Berne \u015fi al teoriei sale de la funda\u0163iei Analizei Tranzac\u0163ionale. Pe de alt\u0103 parte \u00eemi atrag aten\u0163ia \u015fi psihologia Gestalt respectiv modelul behaviourist. Bun.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">\u00cen general accept\u0103m ca general valabil cum c\u0103 exist\u0103 influen\u0163e ale altora asupra noastr\u0103. \u015ei anume, c\u0103 influen\u0163ele din copil\u0103rie ne modeleaz\u0103. C\u0103 influen\u0163ele \u015fi experien\u0163ele \u015fi tr\u0103irile \u015fi durerile din adolescen\u0163\u0103 de modeleaz\u0103. C\u0103 via\u0163a-ntreag\u0103-i un lung \u015fir de Al\u0163ii care ni se perind\u0103 \u015fi-\u015fi las\u0103 urma \u00een noi ca \u00een plastilin\u0103, uneori mai mult, uneori mai pu\u0163in, unii deloc. Dar \u00ee\u015fi las\u0103, majoritatea. Unii sunt \u00een pozi\u0163ia s\u0103 apese mai des \u015fi mai cu for\u0163\u0103, spre exemplu p\u0103rin\u0163ii. Al\u0163ii sunt \u00een pozi\u0163ia s\u0103 apese mai dureros, spre exemplu \u015fefii sau profesorii. Unii o fac \u00een complet\u0103 b\u0103taie de joc fa\u0163\u0103 de noi, spre exemplu oamenii violen\u0163i sexual (<em>sexual predators<\/em> descrie mai bine).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Toate astea-s acceptate \u015fi evidente. Dar ce credeam eu, \u015fi presupun c\u0103 destul de mul\u0163i al\u0163ii, \u015fi am descoperit cu uimire c\u0103-i fix invers fa\u0163\u0103 de ce credeam, e ideea c\u0103 urmele le apar\u0163in. Doar e logic, nu? Te \u00eentrebi &#8220;<em>de ce-s eu timid<\/em>&#8221; \u015fi-\u0163i r\u0103spunzi repede amintindu-\u0163i de toate fetele ce au r\u00e2s de tine \u015fi de to\u0163i b\u0103ie\u0163ii ce nu prea te b\u0103gau \u00een seam\u0103 \u015fi poate de vecinii ce vorbeau admirativ de b\u0103iatul de la 4 cum \u00eenva\u0163\u0103 el bine \u015fi toate alea. \u015ei e urma lor, vina lor, piatra lor, p\u0103catul lor c\u0103 te-au f\u0103cut s\u0103 fii timid (sau orice altceva \u0163i-au f\u0103cut al\u0163ii).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Ei bine, mnu. S\u0103 proced\u0103m prin analogie: dac\u0103 cineva m\u0103 love\u015fte \u00een bra\u0163, v\u00e2n\u0103taia care apare e a mea. Sigur, altul m-a lovit. Dar dac\u0103 m\u0103 loveam \u00een u\u015fa de la buc\u0103t\u0103rie .. v\u00e2n\u0103taia tot ap\u0103rea. Tot a mea era. Corpul meu nu m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103 cine m-a lovit, ci trimite cu exactitate de ceasornic s\u00e2nge \u015fi substan\u0163e \u00een zona aia astfel \u00eenc\u00e2t v\u00e2n\u0103taia trece \u00een 2-3 zile. Indiferent cine, corpul s\u0103n\u0103tos se fere\u015fte. V\u00e2n\u0103taia e a mea \u015fi corpul m\u0103 vindec\u0103 pe mine.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Toat\u0103 c\u0103l\u0103toria cu amintirea trecutului \u015fi a episoadelor dureroase \u015fi a diverselor blocaje de g\u00e2ndire (<em>bottlenecks<\/em>) este nu pentru a \u015fti <em>cine<\/em> ne-a f\u0103cut ce. \u0102la e un aspect secundar. E ca s\u0103 ne amintim <em>ce<\/em>, s\u0103 constat\u0103m c\u0103 avem o v\u00e2n\u0103taie unde nu credeam, s\u0103 vedem dac\u0103 nu cumva tr\u0103im constipa\u0163i sau dac\u0103 cumva st\u0103m \u00een vreo rela\u0163ie nes\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 ca \u015fi cum ai sta sprijinit pe piciorul propriu care-i rupt. Dar acel <em>ce<\/em> este un ceva despre tine, ceva despre \u00eentregul t\u0103u propriu. E\u015fti tu, \u00eentr-un fel \u00een care nu te cuno\u015fteai. Durerea e a ta. Alegerea s\u0103 te vindeci e a ta. Indiferent cine \u0163i-a f\u0103cut sau c\u00e2t de grav \u0163i-a f\u0103cut, tu iei deciziile \u00een via\u0163a ta \u015fi \u00een privin\u0163a persoanei tale prezente \u015fi viitoare. Poate trebuie s\u0103 te \u00eendep\u0103rtezi. Poate trebuie s\u0103 lup\u0163i \u015fi s\u0103 rupi maxilare. Poate trebuie s\u0103 munce\u015fti pentru a deveni independent \u00eenainte de a sc\u0103pa de constr\u00e2ngeri. Poate nu vei fi satisf\u0103cut dac\u0103 nu-l ba\u0163i crunt pe cineva din trecutul t\u0103u. Foarte bine.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Toate astea-s alegeri. Ale persoanei proprii, \u00een raport cu persoana. Am \u00een\u0163eles brusc asta \u015fi \u00eenc\u0103 nu mi-e clar dac\u0103-i p\u0103trund toate profunzimile: v\u00e2n\u0103taia e a ta. Nu po\u0163i schimba pietrele, \u015fi a\u015ftept\u00e2nd ca ele s\u0103 se schimbe vei tot avea v\u00e2n\u0103t\u0103i. Nu po\u0163i schimba oamenii, po\u0163i eventual s\u0103-i convingi s\u0103-\u015fi schimbe comportamentul fa\u0163\u0103 de tine; dar este datoria ta, \u015fi dac\u0103 n-o faci rana r\u0103m\u00e2na tot a ta, supur\u00e2nd\u0103. Tu e\u015fti singurul lucru important pentru tine \u00eensu\u0163i, fiindc\u0103 e\u015fti singurul lucru pe care-l po\u0163i \u00eembun\u0103t\u0103\u0163i \u015fi schimba \u015fi vindeca. Al\u0163ii nu &#8220;<em>trebuie s\u0103<\/em>&#8221; nimic \u00een raport cu tine. Tu trebuie s\u0103 fii at\u00e2t de monstruos superior \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 le po\u0163i dicta tu altora ce trebuie. S\u0103. Tu s\u0103 fii piatra \u00een care al\u0163ii \u00ee\u015fi provoac\u0103 v\u00e2n\u0103t\u0103i.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\">Pentru a atinge asta \u00eens\u0103, omul are datoria fa\u0163\u0103 de sine s\u0103-\u015fi \u00eemping\u0103 limitele c\u00e2t poate, indiferent de sursa lor, indiferent de natura lor. Pentru c\u0103 lumea, iat\u0103, nu st\u0103 pe loc niciodat\u0103, \u015fi pietre-s destule \u015fi lupta-i nesf\u00e2r\u015fit\u0103. Iar v\u00e2n\u0103taia, de c\u00e2nd apare p\u00e2n\u0103 se vindec\u0103, e a ta.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Eu unul sunt un mare admirator al lui Eric Berne \u015fi al teoriei sale de la funda\u0163iei Analizei Tranzac\u0163ionale. Pe de alt\u0103 parte \u00eemi atrag aten\u0163ia \u015fi psihologia Gestalt respectiv modelul behaviourist. Bun. \u00cen general accept\u0103m ca general valabil cum c\u0103 exist\u0103 influen\u0163e ale altora asupra noastr\u0103. \u015ei anume, c\u0103 influen\u0163ele din copil\u0103rie ne modeleaz\u0103. &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-2350","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-fara","7":"anons"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2350"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2350\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2351,"href":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2350\/revisions\/2351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/daimon.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}