Long time,
, no see.
Can’t say I was busy doing anything remarkable or interesting. Not even at least important, like working for my diploma presentation.
Of course, I keep writing in Romanian. Some would say that I actually write quite alot. Sure, there’s the question of usefulness, but I try to keep it down low. I am quite aware that in the end all that matters is myself; I’m not writing for an audience, I’m not writing to influence anyone else, hell, I’m not even interested in seeing visitors. Sometimes it feels like I’m pushing everyone away. Not healthy ..
Anyway, an end of a cycle is coming really soon. Three years of “superior education”, a license exam and that’s all. Not heading for a master’s degree, not now, not interested, couldn’t care less. I’m not sure if in the end I just tagged along in the system or I cheated it, for there’s no official line to compare against. They say you are not supposed to cheat, yet they close their eyes during the exams. They say you shouldn’t be copying someone else’s work, and then they don’t even do a search on Wikipedia. Or Google.
It’s a fucked-up system, and in the end we all lose. Right now, I have no standard measure of myself. All I know is that I can’t properly code without researching a thousand terms and functions before. Pretty low, pretty unimportant, and honestly I’m disappointed both with myself and the world. Shit just doesn’t work this way.
But enough about school, I will most probably draw a final line after all exams and write a huge article on my other blog. I think this is one of the thing we actually miss in Romania: the exercise of feedback. Knowing who you are, what your position is, and expressing your views over things that happened. If 20 students took up the task of sitting down for half an hour and reflecting honestly about their 3 years in faculty, maybe there would be some ground to start the change. Right now, the machine is running on empty premises.
I’m not interested that much in the debate raging over the greenhouse effect; however, I can’t help but observe the obvious, climatic changes unseen before, cold and heavy rains in May, summer temperatures in Octomber, almost complete lack of snow during Christmas .. this shit is not right. Definitely not right. The world IS in turmoil, as much as my little inner pacifist would like to deny. Maybe one day we’ll stop sending our waste to India and China, maybe one day we’ll step up and solve the problems with our own force. And maybe that day is coming really soon.
Y’know, actually I should not talk about the world so much. It doesn’t care about me. It doesn’t need my opinions. It doesn’t stop if I stop caring. All I need to do is be true to an ideal, or at least to an honest target. Maybe I should not attempt to be a great man before I’m a good man.
And before I’m a good man, I need to be a man. Start working. Start assuming responsibilities. This kind o’ stuff.